A wedding can take months or even years of planning. There are meetings to attend with florists, tailors, wedding planners, venues for the ceremony and reception, not to mention the wedding party and both sides of the family! Since it is a special time for the bride and groom, they receive a lot of attention. Then, after the wedding, all that fuss is just… gone, and this can lead to a serious case of the blues.
Of course, spouses are often happy that they are married and beginning a new life together, and given this, friends and family might be confused or skeptical of sad feelings right after the wedding. Because the bride and groom have spent a significant amount of time as the center of attention, it’s become part of their routine, and it is thus not unusual for the period right after the festivities to be a bit anticlimactic. Suddenly having so much free time that was previously taken up with planning the wedding can leave an empty place in the lives of one or both spouses. What can be done to help cope?
People in general tend to be perplexed by post-wedding depression. After all, the couple just had a big celebration with family and friends. They should be happy, right? So many people don’t realize how much of the couple’s time was taken up in the planning of the wedding. All they see are the results - the happy wedding, and now a bride or groom whose sadness makes him or her seem ungrateful. This could not be farther from the truth, and some emotional intelligence can be useful in helping someone get through post-wedding blues, especially if that someone is your new spouse. Be willing to listen, and be open to your own or your partner’s emotions.
The objective here is not to fill up your time, but to plan on doing things that are meaningful for you or your marriage. Don’t just get involved in something - take up a new hobby or learn a new skill. Schedule events with your spouse or family members, since you now have a new family to adapt to and get to know. You just married someone you enjoy spending time with, too - plan a couples class or a nature hike, or even regular date nights. This is also a great time to reinforce your bonds with friends, so group activities such as regular workouts, book or gardening clubs, or a periodic game night can assuage the wedding day blues in a productive way.
Organize Your Life
Sometimes, a wedding can feel like an ending. You’re not single anymore and your relationships with friends and family have changed. Your relationship with your new spouse is changing, too. Marriage isn’t an ending, however. It’s a beginning, and sometimes we need to reinforce that idea to ourselves. One great way to beat the post-wedding blues is to organize everything you received from your wedding. Looking at all your new stuff and finding a place in your (possibly new) home for it all can help turn your mind toward the future you got married for, and provide a new “project” to replace the big one that was the wedding. Writing the thank you cards can also help, especially if you take the time to personalize each one with a note. Take the time to reflect on your relationship with the people you are thanking, and what their support has meant to you. Expressing gratitude can often help uplift our moods in any situation, and can be especially helpful in combating the blues.
Mindfulness helps by allowing us to examine our own emotions in a non-judgemental way, building self-awareness and allowing the brain to relax. Doing mindfulness practices can help process all the excitement, as well as the sudden lack of activity that follows the honeymoon. Mindfulness practices include yoga, tai chi, meditation, martial arts, or Pilates. Hit a studio with friends or your spouse, or light a candle and some incense and indulge at home. It really is an antidote for stress.
The post-wedding blues are very real, and coping with them can be important to starting your married life on a good note. If you know someone who is enduring this, be kind, patient, and supportive. If you are going through this yourself, there are many ways you can overcome the sadness, and move toward your future with your new spouse with a positive outlook.
This was a guest post by Cassie Brewer.
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